My baby. My choice.


I’ve thought a lot about this next post. I have been hesitant because it’s a bit more personal than I usually get – more than the day to day ranting of crazy kids and a crazy life. But life is about sharing experiences so that together we can live, learn and gain a perspective we wouldn’t otherwise have.

So, here goes.

Most of you know I am pregnant – pregnant with a little baby girl, a beautiful little sugarbear (Alana’s term of endearment). At about week 16 we were alerted that this pregnancy may not be as normal as the other two. My blood work came back as “high risk” for Down Syndrome. Additional ultrasounds showed further hard and soft markers suggesting there may be a problem including a hole in her heart, a large cyst in her brain and the fact that her nasal bone was completely absent. Alone, with the exception of the missing nasal bone, each of those markers can be normal; finding them all together in conjunction with my blood work has created some concern.

After hearing this news and leaving the doctor’s office I just sat in my hot car, I didn’t know what I was supposed to think or feel. I just sat there. I wasn’t upset she may have Down Syndrome, if she had an extra chromosome – an extra of anything – it just meant there was extra of her to love. What I was scared about was that her little body didn’t seem healthy. I was overwhelmed.

As soon as I was able I was on the internet reading everything I could find, I needed to know as much as I could to help her. That was my job – to help her be okay, to help her love who she was. As I read through site after site I kept coming across the words “If you choose to continue with the pregnancy…” over and over again. She qualified as being expendable.

To me she was perfect but she was going to be born into a society that would be completely okay with my getting rid of her because of who she may be, or because she may be more than I bargained for, or because she may not be “normal”, or maybe just because it was my choice. My choice?

…I guess that thinking made us all expendable.

Today’s extraordinary woman is a young mom whose choice was to make a really powerful video of her baby boy Christian who was born with some birth defects including being born without eyes. I have linked the video below– if you are one of the 8,000,000+ people who haven’t seen it yet.

This young mom chose to not allow someone else dictate her son’s worth. She was given this little boy without eyes so that she and he together may teach everyone to see with their heart. Together they have been able to reach millions showing the true sanctity of human life and strength of the human spirit. Christian is only a young boy and he has already touched more people with a simple video than some of us touch in a lifetime.

As for my “choice”, well, my choice – our choice – is to love her. To count down the days until the moment we can see her little face and spend the rest of our life letting her know how much she matters, that she has purpose, and that her life, just like mine and yours, is sacred.

So, there it is. I have always been pro-life but I keep finding myself in situations where the battle for life is extremely personal. Perhaps my convictions are being tested, or maybe I’ve just been given a unique platform to share the message of life.

When our tiniest members of society are expendable all human life becomes undervalued. Christian’s mom took the time to show the world her beautiful son and her choice for life. I’d like to thank her for taking that moment to share her story with the rest of us. She truly is an extraordinary woman.

As for my little jitterbug, she still has a long way to go – but we have recently received wonderful news that she is much healthier than she was a few weeks ago. I am so proud of her, she has gone through so much already and she doesn’t even know it. It is through nothing else but prayer that her tiny body has mended itself to where she is now. She may be born the picture of health, or she may not, but she will be put on this earth exactly as she is meant to be and I feel so blessed to be her mom.

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7 responses »

  1. Steph shared this with me on Tuesday last week. I’ve been praying for you ever since, and that sweet little girl. I have a friend and daughter who is pregnant. She’s at 17 weeks and her water broke last week. She’s in bed. They gave her 3 to 10 days until she should expect labor. She’s past the ten day marker and still holding. We prayed for them on Sunday and I shared with her mother about your sweet one. So as they pray for Tiffany and her baby, Collette, they will be praying for you and yours, too. And I will continue, too. Let me know if you have time for coffee in the next couple of weeks. Would love to see you. Thanks for sharing here.

  2. I was given the link to your blog from a family member. I have a little boy named Ronan and in fact today is his third birthday. He was born with Down Syndrome. I thought you might like to talk or maybe you had some questions if so feel free to contact me. My email address is

  3. I was given the link to your blog from someone in my family. I have a son named Ronan and in fact today is his third birthday. He was born with Down Syndrome. I thought you might like to talk or maybe you have some questions. If so please feel free to contact me at

  4. I was sent from a facebook post. We were told our ladybug would be born with issues. That day I spent the day in bed crying not for myself but what was to be her struggle. My sister in law called that day. She is physically and a bit mentally challenged. When talking with her I came to the realization that she was in fact the happiest person I knew. Why should I worry for our unborn’s challenges. Why borrow trouble. 14 years ago ladybug was born and nothing was wrong. She had improved every week inside of me. Granted hers dealt with her spine

    • Sorry accidentally hit enter and it posted!
      I have realized since that in my eyes she was who God intended to lend us for the rest of her life. Her spine has been healed and her affliction now is that she’s a teenager. Whatever the outcome with your precious jitterbug she was intended and loaned to you for her lifetime. Your child your choice. Thank you for loving her and choosing to bless the earth with her lovely spirit.

  5. What a moving story! It’s interesting to think that our mothers were not given the opportunity to have ultrasounds or Down Syndrome Screening and so you would only find out at birth, so you did not have the CHOICE to “continue with the pregnancy” or not depending on the features of your baby. Lots of love to you and your baby girl!

  6. Pingback: Welcome to Baby Mia! « Rustic Bluebird

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